To Sleep, Perchance to Wake Up Every Hour

I dunno about you but my biggest problem lately seems to be a sudden screw-up in my sleep patterns.

Here's the drill:

1. Go to bed at 11:30
2. Lie in bed for 45 minutes with at least ten topics jumping around my brain such as:
• If I decide to redesign this Aran sweater, which motifs should I use? And how should I place them?
• Where did I put that reference book?
• Do I really want to go back to school?
• Why hasn't my brother-in-law called me lately?
• Should I call him?
• Did I forget to buy toothpaste?
• Maybe I could move to New Hampshire
• Maybe I should go back to work at a real job instead of writing a book
• Should I include a chapter about weaving and spinning in the book?
• Do I want to get married again? If I did, who would I marry anyways?
3. Get up and get a drink of water
4. Go back to bed
5. Count backwards from 10
6. Switch positions
7. Look at the clock
8. Doze off
9. Wake up an hour later
10. Look at the clock
11. Repeat from Step 1.

Now I don't mind taking my regular meds but I sure as shit don't like sleeping medications. First of all, they make me groggy, which is an entirely different state than just being tired. Second, if I don't have to take something, then I won't. However, I'm always worried that poor sleep can morph into a full-blown manic episode where I just don't sleep at all. Of course, being manic means being hugely productive. But then, there are other not-so-great things about being manic. Like the ensuing paranoia, the gross irritibilty and the inevitable crasho grande.

So I've been trying melatonin, which is a homeopathic sleep aid and really can't do much harm. I buy my vitamins at GNC, so I'm pretty sure the quality is OK. I'm all for homeopathic remedies as long as they aren't harmful and they work in conjunction with my meds. One that I've found doesn't work for me is St. John's Wort. (It should never be taken with antidepressants, incidentally.) I know a lot of people swear by it but when I hit a depression, I do the best with regular pharmaceuticals. Paxil CR works well for me.

Actually, in its way, lithium is all natural, since it's an element and a salt. I guess there's some comfort in that, although the side effects can be a bitch.

The melatonin seems to have helped quite a bit. It certainly makes me sleepy and shuts off the brain chatter for a bit. However, the chatter and the poor sleep cycles probably have little to do with each other. I suspect that the chatter needs be dealt by a medication increase. That will come in a few weeks, when I see my new pdoc.

I'm glad that people are reading this blog and that it's been of some use. As with any blog, generally the writer gets the biggest rewards from writing it, not the reader who reads it.

However, if you knit and you're crazy, then I'm your woman. For sure.