Friday, January 06, 2006

The Zone

I'm in the zone. That's the only possible reason for starting a second blog.

But no. It's more than that. It's a nasty dysphoria that's knocked some sense into my head. And made me realize that this disorder the shrinks love to call "bipolar" isn't going away. When I find it impossible to verbalize, I can always write. Hence my blogging.

I prefer the term "manic-depressive" to "bipolar." In an onomotopoeia sort of way, it sounds like it is. Bipolar just doesn't cut it, doesn't give the sense of grand movement like manic-depressive. However, since my latest doctor has diagnosed me as bipolar I, I suppose it has some use.

I was first diagnosed bipolar II at 45 (I'm nearly 56 now), after years of borderline functionality, huge depressions, and manic behavior that I tried to cover up. In fact, I'm almost convinced I was a bipolar child--there were temper tantrums, anxiety attacks, impulsive behavior, and moodiness as far back as I can remember. Who knows? It certainly took the better part of my adulthood to be diagnosed.

Every manic-depressive's story has its interesting edges. Mine certainly does. This blog will help document my life as a manic-depressive and provide a forum for me to express my views on a very unique ailment.

I'm still in the process of formatting this blog, which will take a while. Ultimately, I hope this will become a resource for other manic-depressives as well as their family and friends. Yeah, you can Google for info but it's nice to have a repository.


Marilyn said...

Well, this works.

Helen said...

I think the blog is a good idea and I hope people find it helpful, but I find myself laughing nervously and hysterically at the idea that anyone with bpd could ever conceal it for very long: perhaps people can but my mother was manic-depressive and could no more have concealed an up or a down than she could have well, anything really difficult. She was like a steam train wrapped up in a hurricane transported on a juggernaut, quite unmissable. I recognised her condition when I heard Kaye Redfield Jamison say, 'People think you have to be either manic or depressive, but you can be both at the same time, you can be manic about being depressed,' and I thought, 'That's my girl.' It runs in her family and the family members who have it stand out like jewels beside us dull old plodders. Good luck, with the blog and with the state of mind.

Dharma said...

I love the title. You quick summary sounds much like my mother. Kinda cool, in that bizarre way dysfunction is cool and clique worthy.

daisy said...

I think your right about the term Manic Depressive it is much more descriptive. My husband and I run a Mood Disorder group in Medicine Hat and it is surprising how many people don't seem to know it is even the same as bipolar. When I don't care if people know what I am or have I say bipolar when I want to be more specific I say manic depressive to be sure. We have a website that we started a year or so ago. It is It you wish to check it out. My sister just sent me a link to this blog today.